Living Through the Pain

Living Through the Pain
Nothing lasts forever—pain, failure, misfortune—but success does too, depending on how you handle it. And perhaps other things do too, depending on how they are handled.
I lost a neighbour to death last year. She left behind her husband and three children. Of course, people felt pity and offered their condolences, but nobody could feel what those children felt, nor could they know how they would feel for the rest of their lives.
The one who was in school continued schooling. The one who was learning a skill continued learning. And the one whom school didn’t favour found another path. They didn’t stop moving, even though the pain was still there.
People are actually watching how you’ll turn up after a very big challenge. But more importantly, you should do what works for you while also thinking of the version of yourself your future self will be proud of.
When you eventually look back, which version of yourself would you want to see? The one who became absorbed in the pain, or the one who found a breakthrough even though the pain never completely left?
Sometimes, the people we lose have hopes for us that they never get to see fulfilled. Perhaps continuing to live, grow and pursue those hopes isn’t forgetting them. Perhaps it’s one of the ways we carry them with us.
Take all the time you need to grieve. Live with the pain for as long as you need to. There is no timetable for healing. But someday, somehow, you may find your way out of that dark room—not because the person you lost stopped mattering, but because their absence didn’t have to mean the end of the life they once hoped you’d live.

-Zaenabu