JOY, TAINTED

Without questioning its source
Or whether we might have taken
What was never meant to be.

We welcome it wholeheartedly
Because we yearn for it.

Until another random day comes
Like the wave of sea,
Clearing the eyes of the yearner.

Then we realised something impure
Is attached to what we trusted,
To what gave us peace.

At this point,
Pain and sadness can’t be distinguished.

We want to reject everything
That feels like ‘random-days joy ‘
Because we are traumatised,
Because every living day feels
Like a mistake to the earth.

And we are left asking
“Should I give another chance
Or hold on to the heart-piercing experience “

We want to consider other forms
Of pure joy (people)
But we are already at the edge
Afraid of falling off the cliff.